Is This All There Is? When Your Dream Job Doesn’t Feel Like a Dream

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Hi. Hello friend. Welcome back to Blueprints to Becoming. This podcast has gone through a bit of a rebrand, a very slight repositioning, I suppose. Hopefully it's still for you. If not, then I hope you've enjoyed it so far and maybe we'll meet again in some other space. But here is the new intro. So nice to have you here.

Who This Podcast is For

Blueprints to Becoming is the podcast for media and tech pros wanting to choose a new career direction. On the show, I'll help you rediscover your passions and untangle your sense of self from your work—which actually is exactly what we're going to talk about today. All of this so that you can learn how to make better decisions for yourself and your career.

I have nearly seven years of experience coaching folks who are in the midst of an existential career crisis. I am the expert to help you go from “Where do I fit?” to feeling at home in yourself and your work.

You have absolutely got this. I'm in your corner.

When Your Dream Job Disappoints

Today we are talking about this feeling of disillusionment that happens when the dream job does not feel like a dream. That moment where you think: Is this it? Is this all there is?

I wanted to start with a little bit of story time.

You probably know about me that I used to work in the film and TV industry before I worked in tech. My career path was very curvaceous, very meandering. I've done a whole lot of things in between those two and since those two as well. But the story I want to tell today is really about my filmmaking time.

Everything about the decisions I was making for my work life up until the age of about 23 was about films. I just lived and breathed filmmaking. If you're listening to this podcast from that space, then you know—you get it.

I went to film school for four years, and just spent four years of my life running around with cameras, creating moving image stories that were of varying degrees of quality. I graduated into a film job, moved to London, and started working in film in earnest.

Why It’s So Crushing When the Dream Isn’t What You Expected

It was a very challenging experience. Anyone who has had a very specific dream or goal—something that becomes a fundamental part of their self-story—knows that when you get it and it’s not what you thought it was going to be, it is extra disappointing.

I got this film job and I couldn’t really understand why I wasn’t loving it, why I wasn’t over the moon. And it was made worse by the fact that people around me were telling me how lucky I was to have it.

There’s a lot of storytelling around the film industry, about how fortunate you are to be in that position. That made it very difficult to reflect. I didn’t have any tools to reflect at the time. This was before podcasts and all these wonderful things that help us learn and think critically about ourselves.

So I quit. I literally didn’t know what else to do.

If You’re Not What You Do, Who Are You?

It was so difficult to figure out who I was if I wasn’t a filmmaker. What was I meant to do with my life? How was I going to make money?

At the time, it felt like if I made money in any way that wasn’t making films, I was a colossal failure.

So what I'd love to do today is share with you what I learned from that experience—how I navigated it, and how I help my clients navigate it now. Hopefully it’ll be helpful for you as well.

Most importantly, I’d love for you to leave this episode with some tools and ways of thinking that help you come to your own conclusions. Because what worked for one person won’t necessarily work for someone else.

Work Isn’t Everything—But It Is Something

The first thing I’d say to my past self—and to you—is: despite what society would have us believe, work is not everything.

It is not the entirety of our self, of our lived experience, or of our purpose (if you believe we have one beyond just existing).

And yet, it’s also a huge part of our lives. We spend so much time not just working but thinking about work, talking about work. It shapes our social circles, our thoughts, our identity.

No wonder we get hung up on work being the key to happiness or fulfillment.

But we need balance. And balance looks different for everyone.

A Tool for Reflection: The Work Pie Chart

Something I learned was to reflect on the ratio of my self-worth to my job. Picture a circle in your mind—if you’re washing the dishes or out on a walk, go with me here.

How much of that circle is taken up by your job title? Your work?

This isn’t about beating yourself up. It’s just about noticing.

When someone asks, “What do you do?”, we often reply with “I am...” We say, “I’m a project manager,” “I’m a coach,” rather than, “I do project management,” or “I do coaching.”

That tiny linguistic shift is so important. It reveals how much we equate our value to our job. But we are more than the way we make money.

The Pressure to Be Just One Thing

There is so much pressure for the way we make money to be the perfect encapsulation of who we are as humans. Can we take a second to appreciate how wild that is?

So here’s my invitation to you: what else could be true? What belief about work might be more useful for you?

Try This: Write Your Own Work Manifesto

Here’s a tool I want to share with you: The Work Manifesto.

It’s from the Design Your Life book (which I highly recommend). The exercise is simple: write 200 words on what you believe the purpose of work is—for you.

• What is work?
• What does it mean to me?
• Is this belief useful?
• Is there something more true or more supportive I could believe instead?

If you can do this now, whip out your Notes app and have a go. It might surprise you.

I’d Love to Hear From You

Let me know if you try writing your own Work Manifesto. I’d love to hear what comes up for you and what you discover.

If you need support, I’m here. You can check out my new website (coming this week!) with my new offers—so exciting.

I’ll be back next Monday with another episode. Don’t forget to follow, subscribe, or press the little bell so you get notified when new episodes drop.

It was so nice to have you here. I hope this gave you a few useful nuggets. I’m rooting for you. I’m in your corner. Have a fab day.

Bye for now!

* This blog post was formatted with AI, using my transcript. My aim is for the blog to be as verbatim as possible, so you’re in contact with me not the robots! Using AI means the blog can exist in the first place so it’s a use case that feels aligned for now.

Any thoughts, let me know!