How to stop overthinking your career choices
Are You Overthinking Your Career (and Life)?
So you're overthinking about work, about your career, about life, right? So today I wanna get under the hood of overthinking. What is it? What do you...
Right. So you're tuning in because you're overthinking about your work choices, about what you wanna do, where you wanna go next, what's even going on. And it's beyond your work and your career, right? You're overthinking, ultimately, like your whole life. Like what am I even doing?
Why Do We Overthink—and What’s It Doing for Us?
So today I want to get under the hood of overthinking. What is it? Why are you doing it? And what can you do to get it under control so that you can finally figure out what you actually wanna do next with your work?
So I'm your host, Kate Maxwell. Super nice to have you here. I'm an expert at coaching media and tech pros who want to choose a new career direction and then execute on that. So this show is here to give you that extra push as you take the leap—with pep talks, tools and techniques. And above all, I want to challenge the assumptions you have about what you can and can't do, and who you can and can't be. This is Blueprints to Becoming. Let's dive in.
What Purpose Is Your Overthinking Serving?
So when a client comes to me with this self-labeled, "I'm an overthinker, I'm really overthinking"—the first thing I do, and this is what I want us to do together today, is to get really curious about what the purpose is of your overthinking. So how is it serving you?
And I know that might sound a little bit strange. Like, this is an unpleasant... like this is a behavior that's having an unpleasant experience for you. You are not enjoying your overthinking. You've obviously tuned into this episode because it's causing you some level of discomfort. Like it's a problem, right? You are overthinking things. You know that that means you're not actually doing anything about it, and you feel like you can't choose.
So, what do you mean this has a purpose? Well, all of our behaviors—everything we do—serve specific functions for us. Even things we do that make us feel shit or that are bad for our mental health still meet a need.
Even Bad Habits Meet a Need
Like social media and scrolling. We all know it's not good for us—comparisonitis, FOMO, just losing time, shrinking our attention span. But scrolling still meets a need. It helps us feel connected to people, even in a shallow sort of transitional way. And neurologically, it gives us dopamine hits, even though it ransacks our system in the long run.
Even behaviors that are bad for us serve specific functions.
Perfectionism and People-Pleasing: Overthinking’s Best Friends
So let's talk about the functions your overthinking might be filling for you—the needs it might be meeting.
Overthinking is often linked to perfectionist tendencies. If you also think you're a perfectionist, this could be why your overthinking is going off right now. You might be overthinking to find the perfect solution—the just right solution. The solution that means you cannot fail, you will not get it wrong, everything's gonna be okay.
Hey, everything is gonna be okay even if you get it wrong. And you will get it wrong, because we're all humans, and failure is part of the being human thing. That's a little sidebar though.
Overthinking can also come from people-pleasing. When we people-please, we're trying to stay safe socially—trying to avoid conflict, keep harmony, maintain relationships. So if your overthinking is coming from a place of people-pleasing, you might be trying to find a way forward that suits everyone, pleases everyone, avoids any and all conflict.
Why Overthinking Feels Productive (But Isn’t)
Overthinking can feel really safe. Because all the while you are thinking, you're not taking risks.
It can also feel productive. Like, we're working the problem, right? Turning it over in our mind, weighing our options. Surely it's good to think about it a lot?
I recently read about the difference between motion and action. I don’t know if there's any research behind it, but I really liked the idea.
Motion is when you're doing something that feels like you're moving forward, but you're not actually taking action. Like thinking about retraining as a dermatologist, maybe Googling some courses. That’s motion.
Action is emailing a dermatologist to ask: how did you train? How much did it cost? What do you love and hate about your job?
Motion is not action. Motion makes you feel like you’re moving—but too much, and you’re just treading water.
From Planning to Pitching: My Own Motion/Action Moment
For me right now, I'm cold pitching for speaking opportunities. In order to take the action of sending the pitch, I need to first find the opportunities. But when I realized all I’d done for the last hour was add more events and conferences to my list—I was like, okay, time to get brave and actually start contacting people.
Motion begets action. But action is what will change your life. Motion is where you start—but not where you finish.
So perhaps overthinking is a kind of motion. You feel like you're working the problem, doing something about it. You feel like maybe if you just keep thinking around it, the answer will present itself. But—
What Is Overthinking Costing You?
I'm gonna go ahead and assume—dangerous, I know—but let’s just say you're listening because you're not a huge fan of your overthinking. It’s exhausting.
Clients tell me how bone tired they are. Thinking the same loop. Hitting the same dead ends. Following well-worn scripts in their minds. These thought patterns become neural pathways that get stronger over time, making it easier and quicker to get back in that loop. They start to feel absolute—but they’re not. I promise.
Overthinking costs you energy. It gets you increasingly stuck. It tricks you into thinking you’re moving when you’re not. And it might also be affecting your self-esteem. Does that resonate?
The Hidden Damage of the Overthinker Identity
This is one of the more damaging side effects—when overthinking becomes part of your identity. You’re smart. You’re ambitious. You’ve already achieved so much, and you’ve got so much left to do. You’re here listening to this show because you want things to be different.
So even if you think, “I’m an overthinker,” remember: you’re also capable, insightful, and worthy of change.
First Step: Notice the Pattern
If you’ve worked with me or listened before, you know what I’m going to say: it’s all about noticing. Raise your awareness.
Start paying attention to when you overthink. What kicks it off? Is it a meeting where you think, "I cannot do this anymore"? What’s the trigger that gets you looping?
What are the specific thoughts or images involved? What’s the sequence?
Like: “I want to retrain as a silversmith.” Followed by, “But silversmiths don’t make any money.” That’s the script. Capture it.
Whose voice is it? A parent? Your partner? Your inner critic? Write it all down.
Break the Loop by Challenging Your Thoughts
Awareness gives you choice. So now: look at each thought.
- Is it true?
- What else could be true?
- What’s a more useful or kinder thought?
Challenge those absolutes. Crack them open. Start looking at other ways forward.
What Voice Needs to Be Louder?
Think about the voices involved in your overthinking loop. What’s the loudest? Who needs to be dialed up or down?
Maybe there’s a compassionate version of you saying, “I just can’t survive this.” Maybe that voice needs to get louder.
Common Career Overthinking Loops
Here are some overthinking patterns I see in clients:
- Trying to pick the right job or industry—for life.
- Trying to choose something that pleases everyone or maintains your image.
- Fear of failing in public, so you want a bulletproof plan.
- Not wanting to choose the “wrong” thing and waste your investment.
- Sticking with your current path because you’ve already put so much into it.
Did any of those ring true?
Grace, Not Judgment
This is hard. You’re dissatisfied. You want something more. And it’s okay for that to be messy, slow, and imperfect.
You might start over. You might trip. But you have the raw ingredients to figure this out. I see it all the time. I believe in you.
Overthinking is a trick your brain plays to keep you stuck. But eventually, the discomfort will outweigh the fear—or the possibilities will become too exciting to ignore.
What’s Your Incentive to Act?
We need an incentive to break the pattern. So what is yours? Are you done with this? Are you ready to find out what’s next?
You’ve got this. I know it in my bones. I’m in your corner.
If you want to find a written version of this with the exercises, it’s on the pod page linked below. And if this episode helped you, I’d be so grateful if you followed, subscribed, rated, or reviewed—it helps the show reach more people who need this support.
Thank you so, so much for being here. I’ll see you next week. Bye for now.
* This blog post was formatted with AI, using my transcript. My aim is for the blog to be as verbatim as possible, so you’re in contact with me not the robots! Using AI means the blog can exist in the first place so it’s a use case that feels aligned for now.
Any thoughts, let me know!
