How to use your feelings instead of fighting them

Embrace Emotion

30 Sept

Written By Katherine Maxwell

How to Use Your Feelings For Career Change Instead of Fighting Them

by Kate Maxwell

Are big feelings stopping you from making career decisions?

In this episode, I explore how to navigate being “too emotional” during a career transition.

You’ll learn four simple steps to use your emotions as tools and develop a healthier relationship with them, so you can move forward with clarity and confidence.

Your feelings aren’t flaws, they are a part of your beautiful cosmic humanness!

Tune in to for 4 strategies you can start using today.

SPOTIFY | APPLE

Timestamps

00:00 Intro

00:48 Step 1: Embrace

05:15 Step 2: Name

06:11 Step 3: Feel and Release

07:20 Step 4: Journal

08:01 Emotions as Signposts

09:04 Final Thoughts and Next Steps

Mentioned In “How to Use Your Feelings For Career Change Instead of Fighting Them”

Feeling Wheel
Rumi’s poem The Guest House

You are a human being, your feelings are part of the package. You can use them as guides, instead of seeing them as saboteurs.

If you want to find out how my coaching can help you learn to use your feelings, check out my services here.

Full Transcript

Have you ever felt like your emotions are running the whole show and you’re just along for the ride?

This episode is for you if you’re learning how to navigate feeling like you have too many feelings, feeling overwhelmed by them, or feeling like your emotions are stopping you from making choices—and judging yourself for being “too emotional.”

I’m your host, Kate Maxwell. I’m an expert at coaching media and tech pros who are looking for a new career direction. This show exists to give you that extra push as you take the leap with pep talks, tools, techniques, and above all, to challenge the assumptions you have about what you can and can’t do, and who you can and can’t be.

This is Blueprints to Becoming.

Feelings Are Not the Enemy

Today I want to share four steps to use when you’re feeling overwhelmed by your emotions—and how to use those feelings in big life and career transitions so that they become tools that support you, rather than hinder you.

Starting at the start.

I alluded to this in the intro—how we can have judgment about being “too emotional.” I have a lot to say on this.

First of all: please, I beseech you, do not judge yourself for having feelings. Even big feelings.

For having feelings often.
For expressing them openly.
For wearing your heart on your sleeve.
For your emotions being close to the surface.

Don’t apologise for this or think it makes you faulty or lacking.

We are human beings—you and I.
Part of being a human on this planet is that we experience emotions.

That’s a beautiful thing.
It’s a fundamental part of what makes us real people.

“Feelings are not facts, but they are information.”

Not only are feelings a natural part of being alive—they can be useful.

They’re information.
They’re data.

If we let them, our emotions can be of service to us.

Step 1: Notice Cultural Conditioning

Remind yourself: it’s okay to feel. It makes you human.

The specific feelings you have—about your job, your career, your life—they’re part of who you are and the next chapter you’re creating.

When you judge your feelings, it can help to notice how society has conditioned you to think about them.

If you’re a man, you may have been told that being rational and logical is the peak of success. That a “good man” doesn’t feel too much, doesn’t approach big decisions emotionally.

If you’re a woman, you may have been told you’re “too emotional,” that your feelings are “too much” or even a sign of weakness or instability.

Both stories are harmful. Both disconnect us from our humanity.

“We have culturally prescribed norms about the appropriate ways to feel—the appropriate amount to feel—and it’s all a load of bollocks.”

Feelings are part of nature.
They’re physical experiences we have in our bodies—neither morally right nor wrong. They just are.

Step 2: Name and Notice Your Feelings

The next step is to name and notice your feelings.

I really encourage you to use a Feeling Wheel.
If you’ve never come across one, it’s a brilliant visual tool that shows dozens (and dozens!) of feeling words, helping you find more precise language for what’s going on.

Naming and noticing your emotions gives you power.
It turns that swirling, overwhelming sense of “ugh” into clear, usable data.

“Labeling the feeling is part of gathering information for ourselves.”

Step 3: Feel the Feeling, Then Let It Go

Let the feeling happen.

There’s a beautiful Rumi poem I’ve shared before, The Guest House, where he describes emotions as visitors—some pleasant, some destructive, but all worth welcoming.

Some guests might burn the house down, but they’re clearing space for new things.

So when an emotion shows up, feel it.

It might feel sticky or heavy, but it’s essential and worth doing.

That said, if your emotions are disrupting your daily life—impacting your sleep, work, or relationships—it may be worth working with a professional. Depending on what’s going on, that might mean a therapist, counsellor, or coach.

Step 4: Journal It Out

Write it down.
Seriously—write it down.

This is especially useful when things feel vague or noisy or you can’t quite tell what’s going on.

Start with one question: “How am I feeling?”

Set a timer for 60 seconds and just write. Pen and paper, ideally. No editing, no overthinking.

Journaling creates psychological distance.

It helps you see what’s going on with more clarity. It externalises the chaos, puts words to it, and gives you perspective.

“Journaling creates psychological distance and helps you see what’s really going on.”

It stops things festering in your body by moving them onto the page.

Feelings Are Signposts

All of this to say: big emotions are not your enemies. They are signposts.

When you can notice them, name them, release them, and reflect on them, you can move through feelings instead of getting stuck in them.

Your emotions, especially in big transitions, are guidance. They point to what matters, what’s misaligned, what needs care.

If you ignore them—or judge them—you risk staying stuck in a cycle of “I shouldn’t feel this way.”
And that keeps you from growing.

“If you tell yourself you’re wrong for how you feel, you’ll stay in a cycle of stuckness.”

Working with your feelings, rather than against them, is essential for a long and fulfilling career.

Wrapping Up

I hope this was useful—a little different to usual, maybe less directly career-focused, but in my opinion, developing your relationship with your feelings is key to navigating change.

If this resonated, subscribe or give the podcast five stars—it really helps others find the show.

And if you’re ready for coaching support to navigate big feelings and big changes, check the episode description for how we can work together.

Next time, we’ll talk about why learning to enjoy your own company is one of the best things you can do for managing career decisions and big life changes.

Thank you so much for joining me.
I believe in you. You’ve got this. 💙

I’m in your corner. Bye for now.

* This blog post was co-created with AI, using my transcript. My aim is for the blog to be as verbatim as possible, so you’re in contact with me not the robots! Using AI means the blog can exist in the first place so it’s a use that works for me right now!

Any thoughts, let me know!